I'll admit, lately I've been somewhat preoccupied with the topic of disappointment and the feelings that come with falling short of a goal. I think it's something that everyone can relate to, and in my opinion it's good to experience it often because it means you're taking risks. It also happens to be a recurring theme in my life that I'm constantly trying to make sense of.
On the other hand, I've had more than my fair share of successes, many of which resulted in what I call the 'Oh Crap' moment. This is the point in time when something that seemed like a good idea all along suddenly becomes frighteningly real. It's the moment we realize that the hard part isn't over, but rather it's just beginning, and we find ourselves questioning whether we really wanted it in the first place.
Last week, my teammates and I were presented with an opportunity to travel to India for a couple months to work with our team in Hyderabad. I immediately expressed my interest and later submitted a proposal for how I would approach improving collaboration between our teams. On Friday evening I found out that I had been chosen for this project and I was ecstatic. This lasted for about an hour until I realized that I would actually have to do everything I said I would do and that I will probably be working harder than I ever have in my life. This is a huge undertaking and, quite honestly, I'm having an extended 'Oh Crap' weekend.
Don't get me wrong, I'm totally up for the challenge, and I have complete faith in my abilities. That being said, I'm scared shitless to walk into an office in a foreign country with an unfamiliar culture and lead a change initiative. I can prepare night and day until I leave (in a month-ish), but there are some things that I will have to just learn as I go. I imagine this is the same way new moms feel when they find out they're pregnant, or how Barack Obama felt when he woke up on November 5th.
Fortunately, when I think about my greatest achievements, almost all of them involved an 'Oh Crap' moment at some point. Fear and doubt can be incredibly motivating, as long as we don't let it overwhelm us. Get ready, India, here I come.
2 comments:
I had a moment like this when our son was born and failed all hearing tests. I am genetically hard-of-hearing and have involved myself with the Deaf community and learning ASL (sign) in the last couple years. Talking about choices of parents with Deaf kids and actually making those choices are very different, and the latter is scary as hell.
Best of luck in your new project!
Thanks for sharing, Aaron. That's what I love about writing this blog; connecting with other people who have had similar reactions, emotions, feelings, etc. about completely different experiences. It's great to connect with you.
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